you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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