i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
