I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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