This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That accounts for only three of the penises
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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