what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
