thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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