I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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