Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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