I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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