If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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