I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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