oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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