Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
