butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
