Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
