Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
