Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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