tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I AM VODKA MAN
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
