My nipple is on Facebook.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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