The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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