i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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