tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
