he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
