Whats the glycemic index on semen?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I think my moral compass just broke
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