dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
