we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
