i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
