I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
