butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
