I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
