She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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