I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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