awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We had sex on a dog bed..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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