I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
