Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
