I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
