I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
