so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
