hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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