were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she looked like the before picture.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
