Nicole vs. Life
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
