Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Actions speak louder than pants.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
