I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
