Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
