So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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