you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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