1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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