THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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