Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
