her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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