Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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